Kicking your own arse can be a dangerous game; when spiralling into depression I often heard, especially from family that I was being too hard on myself. This was true at the time and if I ever fall into that hole again I really want to be reminded of the point. However I have re-emerged into a much more positive mode of thought and am working on ideas and projects that do require a lot of effort. Therefore it is important to know how to motivate yourself, and giving yourself a little boost pep talk like this can actually work wonders (apparently mantras are also pretty good!) Listening to this track while out running I am very pleased to report that it can help me punch out a slightly faster pace as I think ‘Yo, I kicked my arse enough to write and record this; I can do some other cool sh*t today also’.

“Only one route to truth, you got to earn wisdom, drunk scientists pursue a blurred vision”. I try to consider myself a rationalist and love the benefits of science. Here I am contemplating how science can shine a light but we must be aware that the beam can sometimes be very narrow. Hence the need to earn wisdom, in whatever ways we can. I have found daily meditation in the morning helps me immensely and provides me with the space to reflect on problems I have encountered in the past in a new light.

I’m just tryna unearth dirt
In this absurd system
Obtuse adjectives dont help compound sentences
If the sentence has no penitence
Or modicum of effectiveness

The above is a general dig at the current education system; the unearth dirt a double meaning in that we are taught very little about the degradation of soil which, along with climate change, is having a devastating impact on our global ecosystem while at the same time the education systems with their obsessive test based orthodoxy breeds stress and apathy in both teachers and students and often ruins the joy of learning.

I became trapped into a downward tailspin when I realised that my professional life as a teacher working within the system in the UK was coming to an end. I couldn't deal with the inherent contradictions and corruption I see as endemic within schools and surrounding industry. A classic example is going into a classroom with tonnes of displays on grammar and rules plastered all over the walls. Impressed but daunted (I was never formally taught grammar) I began quizzing the students on the meanings of all the impressive displays. They didn't have a clue. It was all for show. A sad reflection that encapsulated my experience… Make the data look like everyone is learning, skew the figures, make the graphs look good… in my view is the whole thing is a shambles, so I’m just trying to do what I can from the periphery as I work out better ways to help improve...watch this space!

“So all I can do now is inspire..”; I am constantly impressed and fascinated by the technology around us (the fact that we can accurately gauge our VO2 Max levels through GPS and Smartwatches to help us improve our athletic capacities is amazing to me, as is all human ingenuity reflecting back to when early man saw and began cultivating fire)...so this verse sees me doing my motivational best rolling through the rap scene, a version of me in my rap superhero mode; going off on a bit of a mad one. I think I’m juggling words to encapsulate a sort of computer game power up experience that can only come from spitting a load of ridiculous bars, with references to chakras and such which brings to my mind art works by the likes of Alex Grey; playing with the ideas of natural physiology with more esoteric visions of spirit and energy.

After all the hype there is the inevitable dip and in the third verse I mention the naked dream state that seems commonly to signify states of anxiety. When teaching I had many restless nights when I was worried about whatever deadline or inspection I was facing the following day; living with that level of anxiety with a constant build up of adrenaline and cortisol was not healthy at all. In a new mode of life where I have to set more of my own, healthier, targets and goals it is important to have strategies.

I reference a motivational ‘hack’ the comedian Seinfeld is reported to have found useful. Needing new material he forced himself to write a new joke every day and then mark this achievement with a big cross on his calendar. The aim was to not break the chain, and as a result he was, over time, able to build up a huge reserve of jokes.

‘Working till we bonkers’; again referencing my own experiences but also reflecting on the nature of work in general. Is it useful? Is it of benefit to humans, to other species, to the earth? Time spent considering these questions is vital if we are to leave legacies that future generations will appreciate rather than just bemoaning our wastefulness. It might be more useful if we carve out more time for weight lifting and contemplating the universe in every moment like Eckhart Tolle recommends in ‘The Power of Now’. Once you have a plan, there will always be roadblocks and this track aims to help with blasting through obstacles or thinking strategically and becoming like water (in the philosophical ideal of Bruce Lee) to flow around the obstacle, ignoring it, or using its strength as a catapult to help us achieve our aims, whatever they are.